Monika: I need to share a secret and then drink something in a vial. Monika: Afterwards we'll be linked? For an hour. Monika: ... Monika: I should have asked what linked meant.
Dr. Reanimator; I think you should have asked a lot more questions. Dr. Reanimator; Drinking from vials. Dr. Reanimator; Becoming linked. Dr. Reanimator; And you want link to me?
[ Pretty soon, she knocks on the door to his office. She doesn't wait for the okay to come in and just enters; she seems more serious than usual--almost like a front for her anxiety. She has the backpack with the note supplies on her back and the vial in her hand. ]
I'll make sure to ask more questions before starting these burdens. Next time.
Good, because had I said no, then you'd be stuck finding somebody to bond yourself with and who knows what sort of secrets are going to leak out that pretty little head of yours.
It seems like there might be some correlation between the requests and the tasks, so the bigger the request the bigger the task. But who knows...
Now let's begin. The faster we begin the faster we can finish.
I'm not a real person. I'm a sentient artificial intelligence created to find out what happens when someone knows their reality isn't real. [ Uncorking the vial, Monika downs the contents in one go. She hopes that this will be enough; she's only told one other person here in Shadowpeaks that information so far.
She feels an invisible tug on her person as it forces her to stumble a few steps closer to Dottore. ] Oh, a physical link.
[ dottore rises out of his chair and, setting his hand on his desk, rounds it to approach her. ] And did this revelation break you? [ he tilts his head to the side. ] To find out that you're 'not real', because [ he looks around the room. ] you're looking very real to me. [ he reaches out to pinch her, hard. ] Who cares if you were created to dwell within a game world. An AI is capable of growth, and you've been given a body and you've been freedom.
Make the most of it.
You're not the first realfake person I've met. Don't let that little nugget be your ball & chain. Most actual people don't deserve the lives they've been given.
[ ( 'Did this revelation break you?' She thinks of her fingers on the codes of her friends: increasing depression, obsession, abuse. Thinks of how easy it was to (Ctrl+Alt+Del). She loved them and she hated them and she wanted what they were given. Pretty dolls following lines of script and dialogue and routes. No care for reality, no minds of their own. So easy to love unlike her. ) In an instant she knows he saw and heard all of that, wants to run away until he keeps speaking.
She stares at him, this is... the first time anyone has... ]
Do you think that's true? I have even less power here. [ ( I destroyed worlds. I could be an overseer there, a god. But never farther than the screen. ) ] Freedom over power...
Life is no different if you think about it. "Fate" is the route we're meant to take. We're all born to "follow" a script. [ he turns his back to her and removes his mask, setting it on the desk. ] But just like your game the code can be changed, rewritten, if you will, if you're not satisfied...
I was cast out of my home, the Akademiya, my nation, ...and did that stop me? [ he finally turns around, all whilst laughing. ] Absolutely not.
...the power that you had in that game, while it seemed infinite, was limited. Out here there are many more possibilities, and you can expand your knowledge and your abilities.
What about what you become to do so? To rewrite your story? [ She swallows. ] Is it worth it if you hurt the ones you care about in the process?
[ Her eyes widen, upon seeing his face, she has the feeling he doesn't show it to many. ] Was it hard? You're confident now but when you first started... did you struggle? Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating from it all. [ She puts her arms around herself in a facsimile of a hug. ]
...that all depends. I was called a monster my entire life, so I became a monster. [ he chuckles a little, because it really is a bit... ironic. ] And I'm afraid I never had that people. [ people he cared about. not... really. there might have been one or two along the way. soreh, comes to mind, but she was a means to an end... ]
Of course I struggled. We all do. The other students made my time in the Akademiya hell. And, well, I was expelled for a reason. [ he steps over and sets a hand on her shoulder... tugging her closer to him. ] It's always going to hurt, but you're strong enough to fight through the pain. Not everybody is. And as they fall... you'll walk across a path laden with failures to ascend to something that made the journey worth it.
[ She thinks about her friends. She cared for them and they... well they were even less real than her. Could they even care about her? And to hear that his whole life he was called a monster... ]
That's... sad. [ It's genuine--not pity, more like empathy--even if it may not hurt him anymore.
She allows him to pull her closer as she contemplates his words. She's already destroyed those closest to her to even get a taste of what she wanted back then... What could it hurt to maybe accomplish something even better? And if she learns from her mistakes she can maybe avoid damaging her relationships all together. If she wants to. ]
For only just meeting me a few days ago, you have confidence in me... Why?
[ dottore steps back and tips her chin up. ] I see potential. And I can see that you're stuck at an impasse. There are two roads you can go down right now... one will lead to a dead end. And you'll grow no more. The other... well, I've already explained it.
[ She contemplates his words before nodding. ] I... I want to become more than I was, more than I am. [ She's still going to try not to hurt those she cares for but she won't sacrifice her own ambition. ]
Thank you. [ She nods, mostly to herself, before taking a breath. ] I'm gonna get some air, that was... a lot for me.
[ But when she tries to take a step five feet away from him, she's tugged back by the invisible force. It catches her so off guard and off balance that she glitches. ] Oh... right. The link.
...heh, you can't escape that easily. [ but he will start walking toward the door, so she can get the fresh air she so desperately wants & needs... unfortunately it's just not going to be dottore free. ] Have you been enjoying this place, and the time spent out of the game?
Escape isn't the word I'd use. I really do just need some air. It feels... nice, real. [ She doesn't mind that he'll be with her. She's appreciative he's willing to do this. ] I have. I've met some people [ Robin and Mavuika stick out the most ] and I have some idea for projects I want to do.
I do appreciate being out of the game. Although, I don't think I did too bad.
It must be a lot different from being inside of a virtual world. I can't imagine that, but I'm glad that you're out here, and experiencing all that for the first time. Hopefully it's not a sensory overload. And oh? I wonder if it's anybody that I know... And it's good to keep busy. Especially here. That's part of the reason I decided to take over that office. To have a project of my own.
I'm enjoying myself here, if I'm being honest. This place is fascinating.
...mm, I wouldn't go that far. I had a lot more to work with back home. I have to start from scratch here, and that's a bit frustrating. I had all sorts of labs across Teyvat, and plenty of resources... which made conducting my experiments easy. Here, well... you see. But we'll make do.
I had segments, which you can think of as [ hums. ] ...clones. And funding~ oh absolutely. It's not always easy as I need a lot of mora to fund the sorts of experiments I conduct.
But, yes, agree, and I certainly do enjoy a challenge from time to time.
Was it easy to work with yourself? [ ( While Sayori wasn't a clone, when she got access to and used the Club President Permissions, Monika hadn't even attempted to work anything out before crashing the game. Knowing what it did to her and what Sayori would most likely do and become. And maybe out of jealousy and self-preservation. Why did Sayori get to be a route and have self-awareness?! ) ] Were they similar experiments to what you want to do here?
It could be. I had about a dozen segments of varying ages. Basically other versions of myself at varying points in my life, so some of them could be brats. But because they're me they're just as brilliant as me, so it makes working that much easier... and I can trust them, for the most part.
Not really. Back home I was able to create Delusions from the remnants of gods, which granted people powers... not unlike those with Visions. You'll likely see some of those people here. As for my main objective... I was trying to overthrow the gods.
That's an interesting way to do clones. You'd get all sorts of different perspectives depending on how young the first one is. [ She holds back a giggle at the thought of a younger Dottore being a pouty brat. ]
I believe I have seen Visions? They're orbs of different colors with symbols inside and have a metal frame around them, right? [ She considers for a moment. ] Could keep the same objective here, if you wanted.
Exactly~! and it has helped me further my research in a number of interesting ways. [ oh, she'd probably get along with one of the younger versions of him, because they can certainly be brats. ]
Mm, that's a Vision. They're powers bestowed onto a select few by the gods. [ his tone is dripping with venom, because obviously he was not chosen, and how they decide who does and doesn't get one is completely arbitrary.
I certainly plan to, as this place has gods that think it can dictate our lives and play around with us like we're no more that toys.
That's not fair at all. [ She's thinking about how of the four girls that were made. She's the only one that didn't get a route. ] So delusions... were those your way of taking that power for yourself? You said it was similar.
[ She nods her head, her expression determined as she clenches her fists. ] Count me in then. I may not be strong right now but I'll do what I can to help.
I know. And it seemed like the cards were stacked against me from the start. I was made an outcast in Sumeru from simply wanting to pursue a specific type of knowledge. [ he tsks, shaking his head. ] The heads of the Akademiya forbade the research of certain information, which is... suspicious, don't you think? And I was cast out for not caring about their rules and regulations.
That'a girl. I'll do what I can to help you in your own journey.
Whenever anyone forbids you from finding the truth it's always suspicious. The developers tried to keep me from accessing the internet. I always found a way around it eventually... I even made a twitter account. [ She giggles, wondering if she could still post somehow from here. ]
Did you ever find out what that forbidden information was?
Exactly. It is in their best interests to keep us in the dark, because it keeps us stupid and weak... but with knowledge comes power. And Teyvat isn't exactly what it seems. There is still so much to learn about, but for one... its skies aren't real. Our 'world' may not exactly be what it seems...
[ She ponders on all of it for a moment and lets out a sad scoff. But there's an underlying, simmering, rage in her tone. ] So everywhere, everywhere, those above think they can just... just keep us down by locking away our access to the real world. To real knowledge and power and people and... [ Her voice is a crackling, { s t a t i c } buzz of fury. ] Why can't they just let us be free! Here, Teyvat, my world! F̶u̴c̵k̷i̵n̸g̶ ̶t̶y̶r̸a̵n̷t̶s̶!̶!̴
[ he squeezes her shoulder, ] Exactly. It's how they intend to control us. But we have the power to overcome their shackles... together. We're not going to adhere to their rules and regulations. If we don't have the means, then we'll find them or make them. But I'm glad we feel the same.
[ Settling down at the squeeze, she takes a deep breath. ] Sorry about... losing it there.
So we learn what we can, try to find their weakness or places we can gain strength, and then strike. [ Girl likes her plans, even if they're extremely loose. It's the Club President in her. ]
[ he nods. ] ...mm, that's the jist of it. And it gives you a simple structure to follow. Obviously sometimes you'll need to modify it, but I'm confident you'll be able to adapt.
Thank you. Not just for helping with my burden but this too. You didn't need to and I appreciate it. [ She takes a deep breath. Much more settled. ] I think...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
day 67
Monika: I need help with my burden.
Re: day 67
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Monika: Afterwards we'll be linked? For an hour.
Monika: ...
Monika: I should have asked what linked meant.
Re: day 67
Dr. Reanimator; Drinking from vials.
Dr. Reanimator; Becoming linked.
Dr. Reanimator; And you want link to me?
Re: day 67
Monika: Hence why I'm asking you.
Monika: ...
Monika: I don't think you'll judge me for it.
Re: day 67
Dr. Reanimator; Come to my office.
[ the doctor's office in town. ]
Re: day 67
I'll make sure to ask more questions before starting these burdens. Next time.
Re: day 67
It seems like there might be some correlation between the requests and the tasks, so the bigger the request the bigger the task. But who knows...
Now let's begin. The faster we begin the faster we can finish.
Re: day 67
[ She nods and takes a deep breath. ]
I'm not a real person. I'm a sentient artificial intelligence created to find out what happens when someone knows their reality isn't real. [ Uncorking the vial, Monika downs the contents in one go. She hopes that this will be enough; she's only told one other person here in Shadowpeaks that information so far.
She feels an invisible tug on her person as it forces her to stumble a few steps closer to Dottore. ] Oh, a physical link.
Re: day 67
Make the most of it.
You're not the first real fake person I've met. Don't let that little nugget be your ball & chain. Most actual people don't deserve the lives they've been given.
Re: day 67
She stares at him, this is... the first time anyone has... ]
Do you think that's true? I have even less power here. [ ( I destroyed worlds. I could be an overseer there, a god. But never farther than the screen. ) ] Freedom over power...
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I was cast out of my home, the Akademiya, my nation, ...and did that stop me? [ he finally turns around, all whilst laughing. ] Absolutely not.
...the power that you had in that game, while it seemed infinite, was limited. Out here there are many more possibilities, and you can expand your knowledge and your abilities.
Re: day 67
[ Her eyes widen, upon seeing his face, she has the feeling he doesn't show it to many. ] Was it hard? You're confident now but when you first started... did you struggle? Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating from it all. [ She puts her arms around herself in a facsimile of a hug. ]
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Of course I struggled. We all do. The other students made my time in the Akademiya hell. And, well, I was expelled for a reason. [ he steps over and sets a hand on her shoulder... tugging her closer to him. ] It's always going to hurt, but you're strong enough to fight through the pain. Not everybody is. And as they fall... you'll walk across a path laden with failures to ascend to something that made the journey worth it.
Re: day 67
That's... sad. [ It's genuine--not pity, more like empathy--even if it may not hurt him anymore.
She allows him to pull her closer as she contemplates his words. She's already destroyed those closest to her to even get a taste of what she wanted back then... What could it hurt to maybe accomplish something even better? And if she learns from her mistakes she can maybe avoid damaging her relationships all together. If she wants to. ]
For only just meeting me a few days ago, you have confidence in me... Why?
Re: day 67
[ dottore steps back and tips her chin up. ] I see potential. And I can see that you're stuck at an impasse. There are two roads you can go down right now... one will lead to a dead end. And you'll grow no more. The other... well, I've already explained it.
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[ But when she tries to take a step five feet away from him, she's tugged back by the invisible force. It catches her so off guard and off balance that she glitches. ] Oh... right. The link.
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I do appreciate being out of the game. Although, I don't think I did too bad.
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I'm enjoying myself here, if I'm being honest. This place is fascinating.
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Do you like it more than your home world? Or is it about the same?
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Sometimes it is fun to be faced with a challenge though~
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But, yes, agree, and I certainly do enjoy a challenge from time to time.
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And maybe out of jealousy and self-preservation. Why did Sayori get to be a route and have self-awareness?!) ] Were they similar experiments to what you want to do here?Re: day 67
Not really. Back home I was able to create Delusions from the remnants of gods, which granted people powers... not unlike those with Visions. You'll likely see some of those people here. As for my main objective... I was trying to overthrow the gods.
Re: day 67
I believe I have seen Visions? They're orbs of different colors with symbols inside and have a metal frame around them, right? [ She considers for a moment. ] Could keep the same objective here, if you wanted.
Re: day 67
Mm, that's a Vision. They're powers bestowed onto a select few by the gods. [ his tone is dripping with venom, because obviously he was not chosen, and how they decide who does and doesn't get one is completely arbitrary.
I certainly plan to, as this place has gods that think it can dictate our lives and play around with us like we're no more that toys.
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[ She nods her head, her expression determined as she clenches her fists. ] Count me in then. I may not be strong right now but I'll do what I can to help.
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That'a girl. I'll do what I can to help you in your own journey.
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Did you ever find out what that forbidden information was?
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So we learn what we can, try to find their weakness or places we can gain strength, and then strike. [ Girl likes her plans, even if they're extremely loose. It's the Club President in her. ]
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[ he nods. ] ...mm, that's the jist of it. And it gives you a simple structure to follow. Obviously sometimes you'll need to modify it, but I'm confident you'll be able to adapt.
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Honestly, I think I need a nap.
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